I have been searching peace for the last couple of weeks. I'm trying to forgive and forget, to move on, to find something better for my life and to make me feel that I've been left with a reason on this Earth and I have more to do.
More than just laying in my pjs in bed, crying about how miserable life is and how God has no mercy and He gives us something just to take it back later and rub in in our face.
Yes, I miss those days when my only problems were if I should cuddle with you all day or should I bake you a friggin cake. And I miss those mornings in your arms in your small apartment at the sea side. The sea breeze coming through the window and the sun light on your cocoa butter skin.
And honey, do you remember those so called fights that we used to have about who's funnier than who? Or those nagging nights when you used to come back home late and I was expecting you in the middle of the bed with my baby lip and you were all worried why am I crying? And those warm kisses after your long trips... And those trips, the magnificent view of the Indian Ocean just right outside our window. Oh God, I've seen Heaven on Earth with you!
And I miss the lavender smell that surrounded us in that small bedroom that we had in Paris.
But the most important and painful thing that I miss is your voice and your touch; the whole you when you were with me.
I still wonder what if I said "yes" and we were a family, I was yours for life and you were still mine?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmj1bMR4Mo
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